


struggles of the public transport system

by teateatea



Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Gen, Modern AU, because pippin would forget his ticket and gandalf would Not Be Happy, honestly tho feel free to imagine they're all in middle earth and it has public transport, this actually did start out as 'middle earth but w public transport', would have got the ring to mordor a lot easier in my mind, yeah being honest i just wrote this because i thought it was funny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:55:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23641186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teateatea/pseuds/teateatea
Summary: ‘Peregrin Took,’ Gandalf whispered back, rather visibly annoyed, ‘is whatever you have to say so important that it absolutely cannot wait until we are off the public bus and the ticket inspector has checked our tickets? And will youstop tugging on my clothing!’‘That’s the thing,’ Pippin whispered back, eyeing off the ticket inspector a tad nervously. ‘I didn’t get a ticket for the bus.’-The Fellowship sets off on a day out. Pippin forgets, or forgoes, to get a bus ticket. Oh dear.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 41





	struggles of the public transport system

Just as the bus driver seemed to be getting ready to leave, Merry and Pippin hurled onto the bus, followed by Boromir.

There was a sigh at relief at having everyone on the bus in due time, the fellowship finally able to complete their counting up to nine (Boromir had insisted that they all call off with a certain mix of good humour and actual care, and no one wanted to refuse him.) There was a moment of stress wherein Merry got distracted looking at something out the window and forgot to call four, but it was averted with an elbow to his side.

The bus began to move, taking bumpily off along the windy path.

By pure virtue of chance, when all the seats had been taken, Gandalf and Pippin were the ones left standing. Merry and Boromir had taken seats at the front. Merry had taken the window seat and, after a short but mirthful chat with Boromir, opted to look out the window for the journey. Boromir was diligently going to watch the path of the bus, to make sure they didn’t miss their stops!

Behind them sat Legolas and Gimli. Legolas had awkwardly tucked his legs in the space allotted, but he was a just bit too tall, knees coming up awkwardly. Off to his side, Gimli chuckled, now feeling rather smug about his height. Aragorn managed to take a seat across the aisle from Gimli and Legolas but the seat next to him was taken, so he was alone.

Gandalf walked off towards where the hanging straps with Pippin following, who hadn’t not put any thought into the fact he wasn’t tall enough to reach them.

-

Merry, upon maybe five minutes of just sitting there, decided he would rather stare out the window with some music. In went the headphones.

-

‘Gimli,’ Legolas said, frowning slightly. ‘Are you feeling… quite alright?’

Gimli had a rather particular look on his face, expression still and eyes straight ahead. His eyes flicked over to Legolas briefly, before looking back ahead and grimacing.

‘Gimli,’ Legolas said hesitantly, ‘are you motion sick?’

-

Pippin was watching a man moving along the aisle, who was wearing a rather fetching red jumper.

He had spotted him some minutes earlier. He had been scanning the bus for something interesting to watch, and he had spotted it! Indeed! Currently, the man was talking to some people, and Pippin just couldn’t help but admire the jacket further. It really was such a gorgeous red colour, full and bright and satisfying. It caught the gaze but wasn’t, like, annoying about it. It was just pretty. Such a nice colour. Pippin liked that.

As the man lent in to grab a small piece of paper from the people, the jumper was displayed at another angle, showing off the texture a bit more. It was a woollen jumper, too intricate to be homemade and the stitches were very tight knit, and small. Along the arms, the two strips of the red were knitted to look as if they were going under and over one another. Gorgeous. This was particularly visible when the man straightened up and gave the piece of paper back, arm extended.

Pippin was still admiring the jumper, and contemplating finding one of his own, when the man moved slowly down the aisle yet again and stopped to talk to some more people. That was a bit strange actually. He had done that very same thing several times all throughout the bus. The man was given some pieces of paper, he read them, and handed them back. What was he doing? Why could he possibly be collecting small pieces of paper from people? All while wearing that lovely red jumper - it really was a fabulous colour.

Pippin squinted. Something occurred to him.

A ticket.

Which made that man…

-

Oh. Oh no.

-

‘Gandalf,’ Pippin whispered, tugging at his clothing. “Gandalf. Gandalf.’

Gandalf glanced down at him, and then ignored him, going back to staring towards the front of the bus.

Pippin tugged again, ‘Gandalf-'

‘Peregrin Took,’ Gandalf whispered back, rather visibly annoyed, ‘is whatever you have to say so important that it absolutely cannot wait until we are off the public bus and the ticket inspector has checked our tickets? And will you _stop tugging on my clothing!_ ’

‘That’s the thing,’ Pippin whispered back, eyeing off the ticket inspector a tad nervously. ‘I didn’t get a ticket for the bus.’

‘Peregrin Took,’ Gandalf said again, in the tone of a man who is very much angry but very unable to yell. He was not strictly _against_ admonishing Pippin in a public space, but now he would risk attracting the attention of the ticket inspector. Which for obvious reasons, would not be ideal.

Pippin stood there, intimately familiar ending up in situations such as this, his previous mistakes flashing in his head like a slideshow in the photos app. _Your Greatest Mistakes!_ Further along in the bus, the ticket inspector checked another person, leaning over and reading the ticket. He nodded and moved down the aisle.

‘Gandalf, the ticket inspector is getting closer.’

Gandalf looked to be developing a headache, and possibly some of his hair was turning whiter than ever before. With pursed lips and repressed anger, he put a hand on Pippins shoulder.

‘I will handle this,’ he said, in a way that suggested Pippin certainly could not.

Which was fair, Pippin had to concede.

-

The ticket inspector arrived at their seats.

‘Tickets please.’ He requested politely, reaching out a hand. Gandalf, with his ticket ready, placed it into his hand.

‘I think you’ll find everything is in order,’ said Gandalf with a kind smile, trying to affect a persona of a kindly old man.

The ticket inspector checked the ticket and nodded.

‘Quite so,’ he said, giving Gandalf his ticket back. He turned to Pippin, holding his hand out once again.

There was a moment of silence, as Pippin stood there, and the Gandalf stood there, and the ticket inspector stayed with his hand out, an expectant look on his face.

‘Ah,’ Gandalf said. ‘I think there’s been a bit of a misunderstanding. Young Peregrin here is four years old and therefore can travel freely on the bus. No need to ask for a ticket there.’

The ticket inspector slightly retracted his hand, rocked back onto his heals. He glanced at Gandalf and then back at Pippin, who was very clearly not four years old and had not been for quite a long time, however short he may be.

Slightly confounded, the ticket inspector turned once again to Gandalf.

‘Look,’ he said frankly, arms crossed over. ‘I know he’s not four years old. Visually, he is clearly not four years old. He needs a ticket.’

Gandalf shook his head. ‘He’s four years old.’

The ticket inspector once again stood there for a moment, before speaking again.

‘Look, he is _very clearly_ not four years old, just give me the ticket.’

‘He is four years old.’ Gandalf repeated.

‘He is not four years old. You could have maybe passed him off as 12 if I was being _generous_ , but this is just too far. Just give me the ticket!’

Pippins bristled at the assumption he looked 12, getting ready to open his mouth and argue. How dare he! He may have been short but he did not look twelve! Meanwhile, other members of the bus were starting to watch the situation, an old woman staring from the seat behind, a man in the seats across glancing over at new developments.

Presumably, Legolas had recognised that something was going on, and had made his way across the bus accordingly, Aragorn tailing curiously behind. They too were now watching the commotion.

Legolas now leaned over as a spectator, a mischievous glint in his eye. ‘You know what,’ he mused, ‘the boy does have a youthful sort of face… maybe he just has rather advanced physical development. There are some people that just look above their age, sometimes abnormally so.’ He turned to Aragorn. ‘Wouldn’t you agree?’

Aragorn smiled. ‘You may be right, my friend.’

The ticket master looked more and more exasperated.

‘He’s not four,’ he said, throwing his hands out slightly. ‘He’s not four. Look at him! I don’t even know what to say to you. _He’s. Not. Four._ Just give me the ticket and stop telling me that he’s four!’

‘No,’ said Gandalf mildly.

‘Gandalf,’ shouted Boromir from the front of the bus. ‘It’s our stop! I’m getting the others off right now.’

Surely enough, he then ushered Frodo and Sam off, the two deep in conversation. At Boromir’s yell, Merry had taken out an earphone and departed the bus as well. Boromir, after ushering off a rather motion sick Gimli, left also.

‘Well,’ Gandalf said to the ticket inspector, ‘that seems to be our stop, so we must be getting off.’

As the ticket inspector opened his mouth to argue further, Gandalf just left, hauling along Pippin, who despite the drama, gave one last look towards the red jumper. Legolas and Aragon followed, Legolas with a small salute to the ticket inspector.

The bus drove off.

Boromir now leaned over a still queasy Gimli, a gentle hand at his back and a concerned expression on his face. Merry had joined Sam and Frodo, with a rather amused look on whatever their conversation had turned to. Legolas was laughing over the ticket inspector, Aragorn with a small smile to match as his friend chattered away.

Gandalf took a deep breath.

‘Peregrain Took.’ Gandalf bellowed, now released from the bus, and able to yell.

Pippin winced, looking down. He had been expecting it, but it was still unpleasant.

**Author's Note:**

> gandalf: goodness pippin i will resolve it.... YOU have caused enough problems.. silly boy..  
> *five minutes later*  
> gandalf: pippin is four years old. you're going to tell me im wrong? give me proof he's not.  
> ticket inspector: do you accept constructive criticism?  
> gandalf: no.


End file.
